1. You may recall an old rumor that this sequel would be PG-13 to appease Chuck Norris but the opening sequence of the film proves that could never have been the case. The ridiculous violence is laughably (and enjoyably) over the top.
2. So many bad puns you’ll almost think it’s really the 90’s again.
3. Sylvester Stallone looks pretty weird at this point. Like his face is uncomfortable for him to wear. Or at least to act in. He doesn’t look old. He doesn’t have the wrinkles a 66 year old man should have but his body isn’t young anymore either, all veiny and tight. He still looks good in the quick-cut fight scenes but watching him run is almost painful to watch.
4. Jean-Claude Van Damme, on the other hand, looks every day of his 52 years but he gives the performance of the movie (no, Schwarzenegger does not) as the main villain. The script is designed for action, not for character development so no one has a really shining moment but this is the first time mass audiences will watch Van Damme in over a decade and he knows it. He’ll make the most of it while Bruce Willis and Arnold are just having some giggles.
5. I’m finding the rumors of a third Expendables more exciting than I found this movie. Which is strange. If I wasn’t blown away why am I so excited about a possible third film? I don’t know. Everything about I know about filmmaking says this wasn’t a good movie. But I did enjoy it, didn’t I?