Atheist Bill Maher knows Jesus better then most Christians.
Maher is a dick but he speaks truth most of the time.
(via standupportal)
"Just to clear things up for the extreme right-wingers, here’s the difference between Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh: the people who watch Bill Maher know he’s an asshole."
—
Jimmy Kimmel
True story.
(via kateoplis)
"
I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to everything is do nothing. Their answer to wealth inequality? Do nothing. Healthcare? Do nothing. Climate change? Nothing. Racism? Doesn’t exist. For a group of people so head over heels in love with self-reliance, they sure do recommend a lot of sitting on (one’s) ass.
If A Christmas Carol was performed by the Tea Party Dramatic Society, it would be a cautionary tale about how the hero, Scrooge — a blameless job creator — is turned into a socialist through the corrupting influence of Tiny Tim. And the play would end with a simple, plaintive question from Mr. Scrooge: ‘Just how much of my wealth does Mr. Tim think he’s entitled to?’
And that is the great Republican fallacy of this election: that our economic problem are due not to Wall Street’s gambling, but because too many Americans are lazy. But there are 16 million unemployed, and we only created 80,000 jobs last month. The problem isn’t laziness — it’s math.
This is where the Republican Party is now: in favor of people dying because they don’t have health insurance. In favor of letting people go unfed if they won’t work. And if they wanna work, but are Mexicans, in favor of putting up a fence that electrocutes them.
"— BILL MAHER, Real Time (via inothernews)
"Depends who’s cookin’ and who’s fuckin’."
—
ANTHONY BOURDAIN, when asked which he would choose between eating and having sex, on Real Time.
Great answer or great answer?
(via inothernews)
"(Michele Bachmann’s) family has a farm and they take farm subsidies, which are the biggest scam in the God-damned country. They’re sucking on the government teat and screaming ‘Socialism!’ because we want to have a healthcare system that functions in this country, and pay less for it and get more healthcare benefits out of it, like other countries with socialized medicine. They’re grifters and scumags, the Bachmanns."
— DAN SAVAGE, on Real Time (via inothernews)
Any person who ever tries to tell me that the Republican party doesn’t have way more wackjobs than the democratic party, will be laughed at.
Bill Maher got in a bunch of trouble a while back for saying “If you’re a republican you’re not necessarily racist, but if you’re racist you’re probably republican.” In Mississippi at least, this would seem to be true. Seriously.
Bill at his best:
“Now I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing. While you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them and smell like them, I think it’s pretty clear that the Founding Fathers would’ve hated your guts, and what’s more, you would’ve hated them!
They were everything you despise. They studied science, read Plato, hung out in Paris, and thought the Bible was mostly bullshit.”
Yep. Maher is too smug for his own good, but it comes from being a pretty smart dude.
It’s so hard for one person to tell another person what constitutes being “rich”, or what tax rate is “too much.” But I’ve done some math that indicates that, considering the hole this country is in, if you are earning more than a million dollars a year and are complaining about a 3.6% tax increase, then you are by definition a greedy asshole.
And let’s be clear: that’s 3.6% only on income above 250 grand — your first 250, that’s still on the house. Now, this week we got some horrible news: that one in seven Americans are now living below the poverty line. But I want to point you to an American who is truly suffering: Ben Stein. You know Ben Stein, he had a game show on Comedy Central, does eye drop commercials, doesn’t believe in evolution? Yeah, that asshole. I kid Ben — so, the other day Ben wrote an article about his struggle. His struggle as a wealthy person facing the prospect of a slightly higher marginal tax rate. Ben whines in his article about how he’s worked for every dollar he has — if by work you mean saying the word “Bueller” in a movie 25 years ago. Which doesn’t bother me in the slightest, it’s just that at a time when people in America are desperate and you’re raking in the bucks promoting some sleazy Free Credit Score dot-com… maybe you shouldn’t be asking us for sympathy. Instead, you should be down on your knees thanking God and/or Ronald Reagan that you were lucky enough to be born in a country where a useless schmuck who contributes absolutely nothing to society can somehow manage to find himself in the top marginal tax bracket.
Last week Mayor Bloomberg of New York complained that all his wealthy friends are very upset with mean ol’ President Poopy-Pants: He said they all say the same thing: “I knew I was going to have to pay more taxes. But I didn’t expect to be vilified.” Poor billionaires — they just can’t catch a break.
But you are the villains. Who do you think outsourced all the jobs, destroyed the unions, and replaced workers with desperate immigrants and teenagers in China. Joe the Plumber?
And right now, while we run trillion dollar deficits, Republicans are holding America hostage to the cause of preserving the Bush tax cuts that benefit the wealthiest 1% of people, many of them dead. They say that we need to keep taxes on the rich low because they’re the job creators. They’re not. They’re much more likely to save money through mergers and outsourcing and cheap immigrant labor, and pass the unemployment along to you.
One of my favorites, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann said, “I don’t know where they’re going to get all this money, because we’re running out of rich people in this country.” Actually, we have more billionaires here in the U.S. than all the other countries in the top ten combined, and their wealth grew 27% in the last year. Did yours? Truth is, there are only two things that the United States is not running out of: Rich people and bullshit.
Here’s the truth: When you raise taxes slightly on the wealthy, it obviously doesn’t destroy the economy — we know this, because we just did it — remember the ‘90’s? It wasn’t that long ago. You were probably listening to grunge music, or dabbling in witchcraft. Clinton moved the top marginal rate from 36 to 39% — and far from tanking, the economy did so well he had time to get his dick washed.
Even 39% isn’t high by historical standards. Under Eisenhower, the top tax rate was 91%. Under Nixon, it was 70%. Obama just wants to kick it back to 39 — just three more points for the very rich. Not back to 91, or 70. Three points. And they go insane. Steve Forbes said that Obama, quote “believes from his inner core that people… above a certain income have more than they should have and that many probably have gotten it from ill-gotten ways.” Which they have. Steve Forbes, of course, came by his fortune honestly: he inherited it from his gay egg-collecting, Elizabeth Taylor fag-hagging father, who inherited it from his father. Of course then they moan about the inheritance tax, how the government took 55% percent when Daddy died — which means you still got 45% for doing nothing more than starting out life as your father’s pecker-snot.
We don’t hate rich people, but have a little humility about how you got it and stop complaining. Maybe the worst whiner of all: Stephen Schwarzman, #69 on Forbes’ list of richest Americans, compared Obama’s tax hike to “when Hitler invaded Poland in 1939.” Wow. If Obama were Hitler, Mr. Schwarzman, I think your tax rate would be the least of your worries.
